Saturday, November 18, 2006

Insomnia

Realised there's isn't much to do around the at 3 in the morning.

There are no good shows on tv, my eyes are too tired to read, my brain feels dead while my body just feels like stoning. Blah. I hate this feeling.


Been like this on and off for quite some time now. A couple of months at least, or so it feels.

Did you know that you're more likely to remember what you dreamt if you go to bed really really tired? I didn't believe it at first but now I do. "Eh, good what can dream..Like small kid liddat" Well, it depends. Would it be dreams, or nightmares?

Story time.

The nightmare:
The place is my home. Everything's exactly where it should be. I'm at the mirror at the stair's landing, combing my hair I think. I see my cousin's reflection at the bottom right corner of the mirror so I asked "mea si wor?" (Wassup?).

No reply.

I felt wierd. Like wt* wierd. Looked down to the main hall and saw my sister with that cousin there sitting on the couch.

Oh shit.

I looked back into the mirror. It was still there. I looked back down and my cousin's still in the hall. She saw me staring at her so I said "I can see you in the mirror." Her eyes grew big. I looked back into the mirror. It was still there.

It smiled at me. A freaky smile.

I ran down to my cousin and told her what happened. Surprisingly, she didn't freak out. She said something about it being all right, I just need to get a 'fu' (Chinese talisman) and It'll go away. I tell her I don't have any. Let's go look in your room she says. Suddenly we're outside my room door. She opens the door.

There was one humongous 'fu' stuck on the wall to the right of the door.

I freak. It definitely wasn't supposed to be there. My cousin picked up a photo frame from the nearby cupboard (which also shouldn't be there) and flipped it. There was a brown envelope stuck to the back of it. I was still freaking out so she opened it. It was filled with all the old 'fu's that my mom gave me and my sister to put in our pillowcases when we were young. They also weren't supposed to be there.

My cousin gave me the envolope and said that It's just playing with me and told me to go and see my mom. I went to my mom's room and told her everything that happened, crying as I did. I was that frightened. Mommy just smiled when I finished my tale. Then she said "Fei, don't worry. It just means that your 'yin' eyes have opened. It's a good thing.'


I woke up.
Maybe I've been reading too many books. The only time I ever heard of 'yin' eyes was in a Amy Tan book. I think it was from 'The Hundred Secret Senses'.



The dream:

Think of the story 'Cinderella'. Remember the part during Prince's ball, when Cinderella and the Prince was dancing and it seemed as if no one else was there? My dream started from there, the difference is, the Prince's face was a blur but yet I felt totally relaxed. Thankfully, there was no midnight curfew but instead the guy took me out into a garden. There there was an amazing tunnel as big as DJ's school hall made from rose bushes. Outside the tunnel was a being of some sort (kinda troll-ish), selling the roses. The thing is, the roses were silver. It was as if someone covered every rose petal with silver dust.

We went into the tunnel, ignoring the troll. Oh my gosh, it was beautiful. As we walked closer to the wall of roses, I realised one thing that marred the beauty of the scene. In front of the rose bushes, there was a chain hanging with a sign which says 'Do not touch the roses'. I ignored the sign and touched a rose.

It exploded. Not in a bomb kind of way, but more like as if the rose poofed into dust, silver dust.

Suddenly the troll appeared in front of me and scolded " See what happened. Itchy hands la, tell you not to touch still want to touch!"


I woke up. Actually, Dad woke me up. To see a rainbow formed by light reflecting off a mirror. I was around 8 or 9 years old then. It was during my afternoon nap. I never had that dream again, though I would really like to. Sigh. A romantic, even at such a young age.


It's almost 4am. Still don't feel sleepy. I won't have much of a morning left when I wake up tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be awake before mommy comes back and start getting all angry with me.


Still need to study my Biology. Papers are on Monday and Tuesday.Lessons continue as usual on Wednesday. Why couldn't they give us a break?


Sigh.

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