Wednesday, September 05, 2007


It's my "holidays" and I'm staying at home.

Yep. Home.

It's giving me too much time to rethink my choices and add in what my brother talked to me about, the more undecided I get. I do not want to regret my decisions like he did, neither do I want to be stuck on middle ground for the rest of my life. Whatever I would be studying in the near future would be the basis of my adult life, work, social, probably even family.

My brother asked me why I want to do psychology. I couldn't answer him. Yes, I like helping people with their problems, understanding human behaviour, reading between the lines, but do I like it so much I want to spend my whole life doing it? I don't know. I don't think I'm the kind of person to stick to the same job until I retire. Would I be able to perform well under a boss, be he (or she) a great one or a slave driver or would I excel in my own company, as my own boss?

I want total freedom, yet I need guidance.

He asked me to write a paper on what I am in the next 10 years. Cis, everyone wants to be successful, have a great family, the envy of neighbours, adored by the world, yet keeping their own world private, away from prying eyes.

But that's too general, isn't it? Success is different for each person, and the ways to reach it not infinite, but not bound to one black and white ladder either. A family's always fabulous, but 10 years into the marriage people change and their darker side seems a little darker everyday.

What kind of success do I want? How am I going about to achieve it? Everyone can achieve success, but do they really want to? Talk is cheap, action isn't.

7 years ago, a palmist told me I have everything I need in life, I just need to go and do it. I was fated to be a boss lady, travelling around the world but (don't you just hate that word?) I need to put whatever effort in to reach the top of that ladder.

There are many questions that need answering, and no one but me can do that.

Everyone pray that I can understand myself.


At 05 September, 2007 19:27 , Blogger tysern said...

coming to think about that, yes i don't think i can give solid answers to those questions.

but they always say that in a man, a career that shoots you to success is the one that pulls in money, which is kinda important in times like this.

question is, do you really like what you're doing...?

At 05 September, 2007 23:31 , Blogger whateverlah said...

Everything that you do, you need to put in a lot of effort to reach the top of that ladder. That is a known fact. I'm sure you are capable of doing just that from the time I've known you. Truth be told, I do picture you as a lady boss travelling around the world in the future. All you have to do now is think carefully on what you want to do and just push all of you to reach your goal of getting to the top. And that I'm very sure you can do it. Problem is with most people, myself included, whenever we think carefully of what we want to be in the future, we scare ourselves. Be calm and don't be afraid. You can do it I know you can!


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