Saturday, May 24, 2008

All I Want Is A Hug

Things are going fine here.

There's less quarreling in the home front and school work's heavy but can be dealt with. I can even slip in some fun fun time with my new friends. Financially, heh. When am I NEVER broke?

So why do I feel depressed all of a sudden? The day started pretty good, and I actually woke up not feeling tired. After lunch today, as Alvin was sending me home I started having that ... feeling. The one you get when you feel something is wrong, but you don't know quite what, and seriously, I don't know what.

This post actually started out as an IM to a friend of mine but I couldn't click the send button when I was done typing. Even though I know she wouldn't mind me spewing nonsense, and will even help me out with my feelings, I just couldn't do it. Heh, but somehow I'm typing this on my blog. I wonder whether I'll click the publish button. Did not for the past 2 posts.

In my PSY110 class one of my assignments is to reflect on each week's lecture and write about it.

I'm trying to reflect on what's going on in my mind and body, hoping to find out what's causing my current depressing mood.

But I can't pay attention to one thing, or even a few things. All I'm getting is a jumble of emotions and random ( is it really so random?) memories.

I feel like there's a "refine search" message popping up into my head, but instead of it being in clear grey, it's white and blends into the background.

Does that make sense?

It did to me when I was typing it out, and still did when I read it once. Didn't make quite as much sense when I read it third time round though.

Why can't I get a shoulder to cry on when I need it? A pillow just doesn't cut it at the moment.


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