Monday, July 14, 2008

I don't know what to think anymore.

You say no, and make it seem like you mean no, but so many things you do seem to say yes yes yes! or even no, but I'm here just to spite you. For your information, I hate two-faced people. So if you mean to hurt me, just come up and tell me why don't you? Don't worry, I can seperate work and personal lives very well. And remember that I won't be the only victim. You hurt another as well.

And you say she won't, but what she's doing isn't in line with what you told me. Sometimes I think that she's either a good pretender, or that you are blinded by your past. Yes it's a good thing you're still on good terms with her, but don't you think that it's a little too good?

As for you, do you even have an inkling of what's going on? I thought I was over it already, from the very clear signal you gave me that day but everything else after that was just so confusing. Was it confusing becouse of you, or was it me not really getting over it? I don't know. You tell me.

Last but not least, you. The one with totally no connection with the rest, except through me. But it's becouse of that thin string I have to say no. I'm probably wrong anyway, but if I am right, I'm sorry. It has nothing to do with you, really, truly. You're a great person. Smart, kind, funny. Which is why I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. Maybe if we had met under other circumstances, there would be a chance, but head and heart pines for someone else, even if it might never happen.

In a near perfect world, the four will read this, and know who they are and understand how I feel. But we don't live in a perfect world now, do we? Fact is, we live lives that are far, far, far from perfection.

If only there was Photoshop for the real world. Then I'll magic wand each of those bits and pieces and press delete.


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